Last updated at 8:40 AM on 29th June 2011
Brace yourselves for this season’s ‘it’ colours: orange and purple worn at the same time. It’s like some malevolent fashion god has spun his colour wheel and issued the command by which us poor mortals must abide.
Actually, it’s not so much a fashion god who has spoken as a goddess — in the form of Gucci’s creative director Frida Giannini. Since she sent her models down the catwalk in this summer’s must-wear colour combo, it has been breaking out all over the place.
In fact, so ubiquitous has the look become that it’s got its own name: ‘porange’. And, my, what a challenging look it is.Licking off the trend: Cheryl Cole at X factor auditions in Los Angeles
Of course, the Gucci models looked lovely in it — but then, they’re Gucci models. They are 7ft tall, a few inches wide and have cheekbones you could hang your washing on. They look nice in everything. That’s their job.
Celebrities, however, do not. Poor Cheryl Cole went badly wrong trying out the look at the first U.S. X Factor audition, pairing purple Diane von Furstenberg trousers with an orange top.
Aside from the ageing effect of harsh orange (any stylist will tell you that acid brights have a very draining effect on the skin), when combined with Cheryl’s crunchy, bouffant hair, she looked less ‘exotic chic’ than ‘explosion in a Crayola plant’.
Loud and proud: Kim Kardashian and Nicole Scherzinger
Cheryl may take comfort, however, from the knowledge that she is not the only famous woman to have fallen under porange’s spell. Princess Diana was working the look back way back in 1992.
And, more recently, reality television star Kim Kardashian, actress Jessica Alba, singer Rihanna and U.S. X Factor judge Nicole Scherzinger have all tried it out, with results ranging from tolerable to terrible (I cannot look at Kim Kardashian in that Gucci outfit without thinking of the word ‘upholstery’).
Sublime and ridiculous: Jessica Alba and La Toya Jackson
‘But we’re colour blocking,’ they will tell you. ‘It’s very summer 2011.’ (For those of you who don’t live on planet fashion, colour blocking is where you wear colour in blocks, as opposed to in patterns.)
Post script: Princess Diana on a visit to India may have kicked the whole thing off
Well, yes, full marks for paying attention to the catwalks — but then devotion to runway looks has been the downfall of many a style-conscious woman.
Let us pause for a minute to spare a thought for the millions who spent 2009 in drop-crotch trousers. How about the crimes against fashion committed by people in jeggings (that’s jeans that look like leggings) up and down the country?
Cast your minds back to the awfulness of the clog’s brief comeback. Just because a model wears it doesn’t mean that we should.
And I have a bit of a problem with the whole concept of ‘it’ colours. The point of anything ‘it’ is that it’s hard to get. Don’t you have to be on a waiting list for three years?
So how can bright orange or shiny purple be ‘it’ when I’ve seen plenty of items in both colours being flogged in pound shops?
But if you really, really want to wear porange, then how should you break up the two colours?
Some celebrity stylists will insist that an expanse of midriff is best. Others say a gold or aqua belt works nicely.
But if you ask me what you should put between purple and orange, I’d say at least 24 hours.
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